


You can fuck me if you want, you know that, right?

by StillWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boys In Love, Coming Out, First Kiss, Flirting, Gay Bar, Idiots in Love, M/M, they're in love with each other but they're stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29879706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillWinchester/pseuds/StillWinchester
Summary: Cas is done. He hates when Dean is flirting with waitresses for him, so he tells him he’s gay. But it doesn’t help because Dean is flirting with dudes for him now.Inspired by tumblr post.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 126





	You can fuck me if you want, you know that, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this post](https://donnasweett.tumblr.com/post/644846731436195840/i-think-it-wouldve-fucked-with-deans-head-so) on tumblr by @donnasweett and comments. This is gold!

**You can fuck me if you want, you know that, right?**

Cas is in love with Dean. That's the fact, no doubts. Of course, he has never said it loud, so nobody knows about it... Nobody except the most of the angels, a couple of demons, and anybody else who has eyes and isn't named Dean Winchester.

Castiel has never been in love before, but he likes all of these warm feelings in his heart, even if he thinks he can’t have Dean ever. He likes to be close to him, and he takes every opportunity to spend time together. It's enough for him, it must be enough. He sometimes dreams about kissing Dean or maybe even about something more, but he knows it's not going to happen. And it's okay. The thing is, if Cas had to decide to some physical intimacy with somebody, it would be Dean. Nobody else, just Dean. And that's why he doesn't like when Dean flirts with waitresses or strange women in the bar for him.

Cas was wondering about his sexuality more than once. He's an angel, genderless celestial being, and it doesn't work exactly like with humans. But if he had to choose some label, he would say he's pandemisexual. He doesn't care about a gender, he sees souls, but he can feel desire only then when he has a strong bond with somebody. And of course, Cas has it with Dean.

He had sex only once in his life. With April, who kills him after that like she was some mantis. Cas was human then, and he did it because he was curious, but he never did it again because he doesn't need it.

Dean is sometimes obsessed with finding some girl for Cas, and it's so irritating. Cas says it's fine, or that he's not interested, but Dean pushes him all the time. And Cas doesn't want to hear that anymore, so he decides to speak with Dean's language. Of course, he could say truth (not all the truth obviously because he's not going to confess his feelings to him) and explain what demisexuality is, but he's choosing more simply option. When Dean tries again to hook up him with a waitress, he says:

“Dean, I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I'm gay.”

This sentence changes everything. Dean doesn't expect coming out, so he turns red at once, and mumbles some 'Sorry', taking another sip of his beer. Cas feels relief, now everything should be better.

Good thing: Dean stops flirting with women for him.

Bad thing: he starts flirting with dudes for him.

*

The next time when they go together into the bar after a case, Cas notices there are lots of men, and he sees that some of them are kissing. He doesn't need to ask, he already knows they are in a gay bar.

Dean orders two beers, pretending that he didn’t take him here on purpose. They’re talking about a case for a few minute before Dean asks:

“So, what is your type?”

“What do you mean?” asks Cas innocently, but he starts being stress out. He doesn’t want this conversation.

“Men. What do you prefer in men?”

_I prefer an oblivious idiot with a symmetric stupid face, green eyes, freckles and silly smile. I prefer a guy who drinks crappy beer, driving an Impala ‘67 and wears plaid flannels. I prefer the most caring human being I will ever know. I prefer you, Dean Winchester._

“Nothing special,” he gasps, hoping it ends the discussion.

“Oh, come on, don’t you have some preference. I dunno, hair, height, eyes color? Anything!” he encourages him to confide.

“Okay. Umm… I like green eyes,” he says, it should be enough, and Dean won’t get any suspicious.

Dean gulps and gives Cas weird look, he also licks his lips unknowingly.

“Good. I prefer blue the most… I think we can find you somebody, the bar is full today,” says Dean, looking around to find a target.

“Dean, I don’t need…” starts Cas, but some other voice interrupts him. One of the clients comes closer to say ‘hi’, and Dean doesn’t miss the opportunity. Even then when Cas looks at him with fear and shakes his head discreetly.

“Oh, hello! My devastatingly handsome friend was wondering…” Dean says one of his stupid notes. Cas wasn’t a baby, he could speak for himself.

“No, I wasn’t wondering about anything. Excuse me,” he says, and gets out of the bar. Dean goes after him.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” he asks when they’re outside, grabbing his arm gently.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, nothing? And you just left because of nothing?” The sarcasm in Dean’s voice pisses Cas off even more than the situation in the bar.

“Dean, I don’t want it!” he yells, looking at him with anger. After a few seconds, his face softness, and he asks calmly: “Can we come back to the bunker, now?”

*

They’re not talking about this what happened in the bar for all week. Actually, they’re not talking too much at all. But one night they’re sitting in the kitchen together, Cas is reading one volume from Men of Letters Library, and Dean takes a subject.

“Cas?” he clears his throat.

“Yes, Dean?”

“Umm, can we talk?”

Cas raises his eyes, looks at him and put the book aside, focusing only on his best friend. Dean scratches the back of his neck nervously, he has no idea how to start.

“After your confession, I mean, your coming out… I didn’t expect that, but I’m okay with that. I’m not homophobic, I hope you know this… Charlie, she’s a lesbian, you know, right? And you know I don’t have a problem with this?”

“Yes, Dean, of course,” says Cas calmly, understanding what Dean tries to say.

“So, I wanted to help you, but I… I know now that I should ask first if you need help. I’m sorry ‘bout that,” he finishes awkwardly.

“Apology accepted.”

Cas gives him a little smile, and Dean breathes with relief. They’re okay again, and everything is going to be normal like always.

“So, may I ask why you have never hooked up?”

“I’m an angel, Dean…”

“And it’s not pleasant for you?” he guesses.

“I didn’t say that. I just don’t need it. Some angels have never had sexual intercourse, and some, like Gabriel, had lots. In my case… Maybe you noticed that I don’t even like being touch by strangers, so it’s… you could say random hookups isn’t ‘my cup of tea’,” he explains, using air quotes for the end. Dean nods, and it’s surprised for Cas, he didn’t suspect it would be so easy.

“Okay, I understand. I think it’s clear now,” he says, frowning like he is thinking about something really hard.

“I’m glad, Dean.”

Cas thinks it’s over, so he takes his book again, but then he hears Dean’s voice one more time.

“You can fuck me if you want, you know that, right?” Dean blurts out. And when he finishes the sentence, he realizes what he said actually.

“What?” asks confused Cas, but before he says something more, Dean stands, knocking over the chair. He doesn’t even bother to lift it.

“I have to go!” he shouts and walks away as fast as he can.

*

Cas knocks on the door after ten minutes staring at them. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say, but the confrontation is unavoidable, he wants to get it over with.

On the other side is silence, so he knocks again: “Dean, I know you’re there. You can’t hide forever.”

After a long minute, he gasps and speaks again: “I’m coming in, Dean.”

He opens the door and walks into the room. Dean is sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, he doesn’t look at him.

“Dammit, Cas, nobody invites you here!” yells Dean, but he still doesn’t turn his head around, so Cas sits next to him.

“Dean,” he starts, but Dean just shakes his head. They’re sitting in silence, and for both of them it means something different. Cas feels calm despite all this tension in the air. And Dean is just a nervous wreck.

“I’m sorry, Cas. It was stupid,” he says quietly.

“Dean, why did you say that?” he asks, he needs to know, he needs to be sure.

Dean looks into these blue eyes finally. His throat is dry, but he croaks: “You mentioned that you don’t like stranger, and I thought… I’m so sorry, Cas. I didn’t…”

Cas shuts Dean’s mouth with a kiss. He puts his hands on his face, and kisses him softly and slowly. And Dean starts kissing him back.

They pull away, resting their foreheads on each other, and Cas whispers: “You thought right.”

“I… really? That’s why you were talking about all these craps?” he asks, raising his hand to caresses Cas’ cheek.

“Yes. And if your offer is still open, I will consider it,” whispers Cas, and Dean chuckles.

“Yeah? I hope you're gonna consider it quickly,” he murmurs and kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/stillwinchester)!


End file.
